Our IVF story + a new, fun find + this weather is amazing!

My phone died on Friday, so I was without a phone until Monday evening. In case you missed the post on social media, I shared about our failed IVF journey yesterday. You can read more about it HERE. We are hurting right now, but have so many amazing people in our lives. We are definitely blessed with the best. I was blown away by all the messages, love, prayers, and comments yesterday – they mean the world to us. Short recap, we began IVF in July/August. We went through two egg retrievals because I have a low follicle count. At our second retrieval on September 19th, we fertilized all of my eggs from the two retrievals. We had two embryos that fertilized normally and they were watching six others. We got so excited. We had two babies. We found this out last Sunday. We had to wait until Friday to see if any more would fertilize. We both took for granted that our two babies would make it. Since I was without a phone (Friday was a stressful day without a phone), Jake got the call from our clinic. We were heartbroken. I shared everything about our journey in the link at the top of my blog. While this chapter ended differently than we hoped, our story isn’t over. <3

I found these at Mama Jean’s over the weekend and they are amazing. I heated up all four in a skillet and chowed down on two for dinner last night. Highly recommend!

I topped them with a little plain Greek yogurt and salsa. Amazing.

The grief about our IVF loss hits me at different times. Night time seems to be the worst, especially when Jake is at work. I think I fell asleep around 1 or so last night, but woke up around 5:30. Jake said he didn’t go to bed until around 2:45. We will get through this, but it’s definitely hard. I’m thankful we have each other.

One positive – I am back to running! I couldn’t run once I started stims (my injections) because of the risk of ovarian torsion, so I haven’t been able to lace up in over two months. It sure feels good to run again. Rhea thinks so, too. I think she was telling me that we didn’t have time to pictures because we needed to run. 😉

This is one happy girl. We knocked out 4 miles together this morning. I LOVE this cooler weather. It was 46 degrees when I started my run.

My eyes are perpetually puffy right now, but it made my heart so happy to get some miles in.

After my run, I made breakfast burritos and enjoyed breakfast with Jake.

I have a full to-do list for the day, so I’m off to knock it out.

Happy Tuesday, friends!


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  1. Julie

    I just read your IVF journey and I am in tears. I am so sorry. I too went through IVF and reading your journey brought me through the highs and lows again. It is definitely something that not everyone will understand. I kept a journal as well and even though my journey was 17 years ago there are times when I read through it again just so that I can remember that time and reflect on how strong I am because of it. When I say prayers at night I always think of the women going through infertility because it is so incredibly tough. My husband and I also wanted to keep it between us in the beginning but when we got the list of meds he didn’t want to be the only one that knew what I was taking so we clued our parents in. Infertility was then and still is now something that not a lot of people like to talk about. I am happy that you had a buddy to talk to that was going through the same thing. I also want to commend you on making your journey public I am so sure that you helped at least one person but most likely many. I was one of the fortunate ones I got pregnant with twin girls. I am so positive that your journey isn’t over and I believe that you will get your baby. Just remember that you are strong because of your journey. I always love this quote, and when I am struggling with anything I will read it often: “It’s going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
    {Hugs and many prayers for you} 🙂

    • papersandpavement

      Oh, Julie. Thank you. Thank you for your kind words. I hate that you know what this journey feels like, but thank you so much for sharing. I love that quote. So much. It’s going to be a mantra I use daily. Hugs to you as well. <3

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