August 28th: I. HATE. Birth. Control. I guess I forgot how terrible the couple of weeks on birth control are during this process. UGH. Birth control makes me super nauseous, lethargic, gives me headaches, and makes me just feel blah. I don’t like complaining or feeling sorry for myself, but the birth control portion is NO fun. I posted in one of my IVF group yesterday about how miserable I was and so many women commented and said they were feeling the same way. It made me feel better that it wasn’t uncommon to feel how I was feeling.
I have not let myself buy anything baby-related yet, I’m still trying to protect my heart while also staying positive about the outcome, BUT, I did buy this onesie to give to Jake. I haven’t told him I got it and I am praying I get to use it to surprise him once my blood tests in December show that our little embaby stuck and is growing. Other than this, I haven’t and won’t buy anything else. How cute is this?
Still taking ALL the supplements. At least taking all of these helps me to get 24 ounces of water down ASAP in the morning.
August 30th: Wow, friends. I am cranky. I have a headache, am grouchy, and don’t feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. I woke up and did my workout this morning, spent some time working on the computer, then finished peeling wallpaper on a wall at the new house. I am now back at the apartment. I ate a bunch of BBQ chips and peanut M&Ms. I just want to sleep, but I have some reading I need to do. I am so ready for the birth control phase to be over. I am trying not to get down on myself about the weight gain – obviously chips and M&Ms aren’t helping. Food doesn’t sound good, so when something does, I eat it. I miss running. I just want to go for a crazy long run and then take a nap. That’s my favorite way to spend the weekend. You know when you are sick and you don’t remember what it felt like not to be sick? I’m feeling that way now. I am going to take an hour to close my eyes and feel sorry for myself, then I need to stop being a ninny. This is temporary. This is temporary. This is temporary.