July 10th: I started birth control. So weird to be on birth control when you’re actively TRYING to get pregnant rather than the opposite. Ya know? Anyway, I had not taken birth control in a long time because it really messed with my hormones. My doctor wanted me on it when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, but I told her I would rather deal with the pain than feel the way those damn pills make me feel. When I heard I would have to take birth control at the beginning of our cycle, I was sad, but knew it was part of IVF and I was willing to do whatever was needed. So, I picked up my pills and started popping.
It took about three days of taking the pills for me to feel them. I like to think I am pretty in tune with my body, so it was pretty obvious when the hormones started to build up. I was emotional, cranky, and bloated. About a week and a half into taking the pills, I went to my parents’ house to water their plants while they were out of town. They had locked their garage door and taken the key with them, so I had no way to get into the house. I immediately started sobbing. I knew it was just my hormones being all crazy, but I think it was probably a release of everything that has been going on recently. I just stood in the garage and cried. By myself. IVF is a big deal. It’s scary knowing you are going to be putting all kinds of hormones into your body. I did feel better after I cried, so maybe I needed that outlet. After that, I decided I needed to focus on positive things and not let little annoyances get to me. Obviously the locked door wasn’t that big of a deal (and I know it was just the annoyance of it that made everything else just spill over), but I don’t like feeling or reacting that way, so I decided to be more aware of how I was feeling and notice different triggers around me. I hadn’t even started the injectable drugs at this point, so I knew I needed to find a better head space to occupy.
I got all kinds of information, which was super overwhelming at first since I had no clue what a lot of it meant. I am so thankful that with MCRM we were assigned a coordinator to work with – ours took care of everything and was available for questions any time I had them, which was very often…
Crazy, right? I didn’t even know what any of these were for, but I called the Tulsa office and schedule every single one.